It’s easy here to get distracted about the reasons I came to the ashram. These are my type of people. The place is jam packed with musicians and artist. It’s wonderful to share the space with them and exchange ideas and riffs. I find myself torn between enjoying that connection and yet keeping with my goal of being here. The goal was to take advantage of a regular practice of meditation, yoga and service.
The time is very short and you have to choose what you will focus on. So finding a balance to feed both needs of creativity and spiritual practice have become a goal. In the book, The Divine Light Invocation by Swami Radha, she talks about how to make personal changes. To start to think about what kind of person you want to be then to meditate on your daily inventory of actions. Do your actions mirror your desired reflection?
Renovating your internal garden takes time. The current image has been forged over many years. What’s important now is to concentrate on what it would take to alter the self and then start to reenforce necessary change in behaviour, thought patterns and actions.
As I zero in on who I want to be I know that my thought patterns can be my worst enemy. Am I good enough to contribute in a way that anyone would value? Do I value others contributions? The fact that we want to be appreciated for what we offer and yet,we can’t do the same for others indicates that some work still needs to be done.
Be your own witness. I like that idea. It gives me opportunity to gauge and reflect as I meditate. Who am I? Do I emulate that person daily? Do I appreciate others contributions as much as I want to share my own?