Cold Splash of Vulnerability

I started the today in the Beach Prayer room. It’s called that because it’s basically on the beach and over looks the lake. I have been a bit nervous about this evenings Satsang as my guide has asked me accompany her on my piano for singing and chanting. I got in one practice and hope I interpret the songs correctly. I started my meditation with the Om Tara I have been working with while sitting in the prayer room. As I sat and chanted I began to think about my 5 senses. Then as I chanted more and wondered why I was thinking of them literally instead of how I use them when going on a shaman journey. They are tools that can help filter out what barriers are coming up for me.

We see many things in our dreams or when journeying or mediating that don’t exist anywhere else. I have smelt sage burning or the perfume of a flower where none should exist. Sound is a conduit to heal I am learning. I have been thinking that I have spent too much time playing music while here. I now know it’s part of meditation.

I didn’t get to play tonight. Part of me is relieved part is bummed. It was determined that I was too new to the ashram and should be able to attend a few more sessions before diving in.

My guide didn’t know this protocol and when she came to tell me she seemed a bit nervous now. She would be playing and leading the session herself. She was told that satsang isn’t about performance it’s about a creating sacred space. She looked vulnerable and I saw that she was learning just like me. We are all on our personal journey. I have seen so much about human interactions here. How to live where all your senses are eager for stimulation.

I started the day in the Beach prayer room and I ended it there also. Sitting in the dark with another karma yogi just after we had took a dip in the ice cold Kootenay lake. All my senses came alive and it felt vulnerable but invigorating at the same time.

I am learning more than I ever thought possible about myself and about how I interact with others. I am learning I can live without a lot of space. Since I only have spotty internet connections I am writing this blog post on my phone. Another first for me to put my thoughts on such a tiny screen.

The mantras are filling me with strength and insight. I am excited to explore them further. OM OM OM

Author: Vanee

Wild heart, free spirit, shaman enthusiast who loves to be curious about anything and everything. Avid traveller who is itching to explore more of this wonderful world when save to do so.

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