It’s the first day I’ve been at the condo completely on my own – no dog, and my boyfriend is back at work for 10 days. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it. Would this be the time I find I miss Keo? Would it be too quiet?
You know what? I like it.
The energy is different. There’s nothing “frenetic” anymore. I’ve mentioned in previous blogs that there’s a walking path behind the condo. Keo would bark at any dog that came by – whether he was outside on the deck, or inside with me. If he wasn’t barking, he’d be sleeping. Have you heard rottweilers sleep? They snore! They also groan, sigh, and fart. When awake, he would compulsively licked his paws. The ‘slurping’ noises drove me nuts. I didn’t realize just how much noise he made until today, when there is none.
I don’t think we realize just how much background noise we have in our lives until it’s removed. We also don’t realize how much it wears us down.
I’ve gone from living in house with 5 people and 4 dogs to being on my own. I no longer have two TVs playing in the house or a kid stomping up and down the stairs (how is it teenage boys can be light of foot on an athletic field yet can’t walk through the house without sounding like elephants? We nicknamed our son, “Stompy the Ninja”). I don’t have to listen to my son constantly sniffle because of his allergies or the “click” in someone’s ankle when they walk. There are no doors slamming as kids come and go from the house. No basketballs being bounced in the neighbourhood.
It’s so peaceful. I don’t even have music playing. I’m revelling in the quiet.
My life is coming into balance. I get time to myself the weeks Martin is at work. The only obligations and responsibilities I have are those I take on myself. There’s no longer anything or anyone making demands of my time or energy.
I get companionship on Martin’s days off. In so many ways, he makes my life easier/better and it’s a pleasure to have him home. In nearly two years, I’ve never felt depleted after spending time with him. The only thing he ever asks of me is for me to discover my authentic self. When I drop him off at the airport every week, I’m tasked with, “Do something that makes you happy.”
A supportive partner, a quiet home, and fewer responsibilities. The quiet is not only what comes through my ears, but also in the stillness around me.