Tag: #adventure

Looking Inward

I’ve enjoyed reading about Vanessa’s adventures this summer. I’ve been living vicariously through her.

I’ve been facing adventures of a more internal nature. I’m trying to figure out what makes my heart sing. For so long, I looked after other people – my son, my parents, my husband. I lived a life in service to others. Now, I’m on my own. My dad is in care, my son lives with my ex, and my husband – well, he’s on his way to becoming an ex.

When I look back at the last few years, I shake my head. There’s the saying “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle”. Sometimes, I think He thinks I’m stronger than I am. Four years ago my parents moved in with us, Dad had cataract surgery, then a heart attack. Two years ago, Mom died from a head injury sustained from a fall. Dad’s vision started to fail and I became his primary caregiver. My marriage started to implode. My husband realized he prefers his own gender. We opened our marriage so we could find people better suited to each of us. I met my current partner. Covid hit the world. My son graduated from high school. I lost my job. I started a new job. My husband and I separated. I moved out and bought a new home. I’m almost afraid to ask – what else can happen?

All the changes have left me on my own with my dog, Keo. Everything I want done in the condo is done, for now. I’m settled in my new job, and love it. I have great friends. My partner, Martin, and I are really good. I find myself with SO MUCH free time and I don’t know what to do with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I have many hobbies. For some reason, I can’t get started on any of them. I feel stuck…unmotivated…aimless. It’s not depression. I’ve got that and know how it feels. Martin pointed out that I no longer have anyone who depends on me. My time is truly my own. I’ve spent so many years in service to others that I don’t know how to be in service to myself.

I suspect he’s right. It’s probably a good thing he’s working so much this summer. It’s giving me time to figure things out for myself. Being the Type A person I am, I wish I could figure it out much faster.

All I can do is enjoy the quiet and give myself grace. I don’t need to have all the answers. Martin suggested I take the time to try new things. He likened it to dating – putting myself “out there”, trying things, and seeing what sticks. It worked out for me and him, so maybe he’s got a good idea.

Have you ever had to try to find yourself and your passion? What worked for you?

Summer Adventure

Reading the title, you might think I’m planning an exciting trip. Instead, my big adventure for the summer is to clean up my eating by undertaking the Whole30 eating plan. I’ve done it once before and know it’s a commitment, and it’s not easy.

I planned to start today, July 1, but changed my mind. I’m going to ease into it. Because of food allergies and having Hashimoto’s Disease, I already avoid quite a few foods. So, during the next week, I’m going to stop eating all grains – not a huge step because I’m already gluten-free. It’ll mostly be rice and my granola bars I avoid. Next week, I’ll stop eating dairy products. This one is tougher because I love cheese and yougurt. Finally, I’ll start the Whole30 eating plan and give up sugar and alcohol – 30 days with no umbrella drinks!

Why am I doing this? I know I’ll feel better at the end. As I reintroduce foods after the 30 days, I’ll have a better idea of which foods my body tolerates and which it doesn’t. I know – once I’m through any withdrawal symptoms – I’ll have more energy and I may even start to sleep better.

I enjoy a challenge. When I was first diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, I followed the Autoimmune Plan (AIP) for seven months. That was the MOST restrictive eating plan I’ve ever done. It was Whole30 on steroids! At the time, I needed to figure out what foods made me feel good and which ones made me feel worse. As a result, I avoid gluten, nightshades, and potatoes. I’m not allergic to these, but I know eating them makes me feel bloated, fatigued, and achey – almost flu-ish.

As much as I’ll miss having drinks on a patio, it’s a good time to undertake Whole30. I’m settled into my new home and job. Martin is working most of the summer so my eating plan won’t be restricting what he eats (he already avoids a lot of foods he likes because of my allergies and Hashis). And, it’s been a couple of years since I’ve done it so it feels like it’s time to hit the “reset” button. I find it easier to adjust my eating in the summer when there’s things to do outside. During the winter, it’s hard to give up hot chocolate. 🙂

So, there will be blogs about this eating adventure. I know I’ll go through sugar cravings the first few days I stop eating it. I’ll get frustrated with having to grocery shop for fresh produce every week and meal plan. Near the end of the 30 days, I’ll start to think I’ve done it “long enough” and contemplate quitting. Blogging about it will keep me honest and on track.

Anyone want to join me on this adventure?

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