Tag: #lifehappens

30 Day Challenge

So much is going on right now that this blog hasn’t been a priority for me. I’m going to change that.

I’m undertaking a 30-day challenge to write every day for 30 days – starting today. Again, I love the contrast between me and Vanessa. She’s focusing on dream yoga; I’m trying to get through each day and keep a positive attitude. It’s a struggle sometimes.

I’m supposed to be doing one of two things this time of year. I’m either counting down the days until I’m on vacation (usually to Hawai’i), or I’m already there. Facebook memories is a daily reminder of not being in my happy place right now.

There was no way to book a vacation in advance this year. Martin’s dad is in his 90’s. We moved him here this fall after his wife of 30 years passed away in the spring. We knew we couldn’t plan a vacation because we weren’t sure how his dad would settle in. We decided we’d wait until a week or two before the scheduled vacation time and book a “sell-off vacation”. It sounded like fun. We’d get away but wouldn’t know where until almost the week before.

That changed a month ago when his dad fell, broke his hip, and required surgery. Since then, there have been two more trips to emergency and one more hospitalization. We can’t leave the country. We wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy ourselves because we’d be worried about him.

So, instead, we’re taking the three weeks Martin booked off and staying home. We’re going to focus on healthy eating by following the Whole 30 eating plan. We’re getting memberships to the leisure centers in Calgary so we can make use of their pools, weight rooms, and drop-in classes. I’ve already bought mine so will be checking out some of the facilities in the days to come. Martin is currently at work for 11 days so he’ll start when he’s back.

We’re also going to spend three weeks together at home. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but we’ve never done this. Martin’s work takes him away 7-21 days at a time. Sometimes he’s home for a week between sets; sometimes it’s 48 hours. He’s usually gone 7 days at a time, but more often than not it’s 10, 11, or 21 days. Three weeks together, at home, will be a first for us in the 3.5 years we’ve been together.

We will get a small get-away. Friends of mine have a home in Canmore, AB and they’ve offered it to us for 4 days. It’s not the tropics, but they have a hot tub, so there’s that.

All in all, it’s a good time to start a 30-day blogging challenge.

Missing…but in Action

I have good intentions about blogging regularly, and then…life.

My son, Nathan, stayed at my place while Martin and I were in Mexico. After two weeks, he realized his anxiety was non-existent and his hypochondria was greatly reduced. He asked if he and his dog could move in with me permanently. Nathan had enough of dealing with his step-dad and living in a toxic environment. The ex’s boyfriend made it clear he wanted me and my son out of HIS house a few months ago (I wasn’t living there!).

Little did we know, having Nathan “out of sight” also meant he was “out of mind”. My ex had his family over for Christmas and didn’t invite Nathan. He’s always said helping to raise Nathan is his proudest accomplishment – but, no Christmas? Not even a gift. My ex gave his cleaning lady a gift, but not his son. When Nathan talked to him about it, the response was, “Oh, I didn’t think we were doing that this year.” He never asked. He didn’t want Nathan there because the truth might come out. You can bet his boyfriend and the boyfriend’s dog weren’t at the house the same time as his family.

Sorry, I tend to rant when I think of that man…

Nathan is now wrestling with, “I thought he cared about me.” He will be getting counselling to help him deal with it.

So, to give me and my son some privacy, I’ve decided to finish the downstairs room in my condo. He will have his own bedroom and half-bath. I reached out to four contractors. Two came to see the place, and only one came through with a quote. We’re now in the waiting game of getting a development permit from the city. I spent last week developing drafting skills as the basement plans had to be drawn to scale. Grade 8 math came in handy!

Then, I started a new job at the start of January. I absolutely love it. It challenges my brain in a way it hasn’t been used in a long time. The work day passes very quickly. By the end of it, I’m exhausted. Mentally exhausted. It’s all I can do to get to the gym 4-5 times a week. When I get home, I barely have the energy to make dinner before falling asleep on the couch.

I’ve decided to learn Spanish this year, so spend 15 minutes a night using Duolingo. I’ve got a 42 day streak going and am determined to see it grow to 365 days. Learning Spanish has been on my “to do” list for a few years and the recent vacation reignited the interest.

There’s been more dealings with the ex regarding his lover’s dog biting Nathan, dealing with animal control, deciding what to do with Nathan’s car, getting the divorce finalized and organizing our trip to Maui in February. There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

I’m confident things will settle down this year. Nathan’s bedroom will get finished. I can arrange my living area the way I want. The divorce will be finalized (hopefully!) and the ex will be forever out of our lives. I’ll build the endurance so a full day of work doesn’t make me want to nap at the end of the day.

So, yeah…I’ve been missing from here, but am still definitely in action.

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