Tag: #midlifearises

Putting A Label On It

In a community of labels which ones stick?

notes on board
Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

You can’t be everything to everyone. 

Not everyone is going to like you. 

Find your passion and develop it.

Focus your energy on one thing to be more successful at more things.

It’s all great advice and I have taken it to heart during periods of my life that I felt it all applied.

I admire discipline. I have contemplated getting it tattooed on me somewhere I could see it often. I like to be organized and make numerous lists when I need to get things done. I always like periods of chaos and serendipity.

Where I struggle is trying to put myself in a box. I know the benefits of being clear in your communication with others. Even who you are and what you value should be obvious in your musings.

Where is this contemplation coming from?

I was chatting with my son the other day and he was giving me feedback on my blogs. He loves process and is driven by order. He suggested I narrow my scope of topics and use the website to express specific topics.” It’s unorganized” mom, he said. If I want to read about your dream yoga I have to search for it. Label and tag all of your topics to help with the navigation.

It was good advice. I even attempted to sort through the eclectic stories to file them in order of topics, relations and common themes. 

Sigh. Ok confession time. I am interested in anything and everything. My interview to volunteer took over an hour because I was curious about many opportunities and didn’t want to turn down any that might be mutually beneficial. I am a realist and know that it isn’t possible to do it all yet I enjoy the push to try and do more. Sometimes less is more. Being willing to narrow the scope and hone in on projects that enhance your skills sets is golden.

So what is the purpose of a label? I have learned that in order to nurture and attract like minds you have to be able to define your ideas in a common language. I bet you thought I was going to dis on labeling things? Not true. I understand the importance of helping others to steer through your body of work to the place that interests them. The exchange of ideas understood and consumed is heady and very desirable.

I am not everyone’s cup of tea nor do I try to be. I do my best though to think of labels many can understand and relate to.

My son’s feedback was good and I continue to take it to heart as I post my blogs. I won’t guarantee him that I will narrow my topics. He knows me better than that but I will ensure they are labeled in the most scientific way.

Beaches, Botanicals and Buddhas

All I have to do is close my eyes and dream away the snow…

I am getting the itch to travel as winter seems to be dragging on forever. I was dreaming of some of the epic beaches I have been to over the years as I scooped up the snow and piled it into mini mountains along my driveway and walks.

I am grateful for the trips I did take before COVID set it as now I only have to close my eyes and experience the warm humid air of Bali or the wisps of sands grazing my cheeks in the early hours of the morning in Morocco. 

Sigh, will I ever travel again? The saving grace, for me, over the last couple of years has been my stays at the ashram. This year is, of course, different. I chose to stay home this time and volunteer locally. It has been good for me to learn more about the state of my own community. How people are coping post pandemic. 

I am designing changes to my gardens and have already started many seeds to cut down the costs this year. Gardening, despite what you might think, is not a cheap hobby. At least the way I do it. I close my eyes and think of the Boboli Gardens in Italy. Even though we were there in a severe drought, the more tolerant varieties of shrubs and plants were beautiful. In Pompeii, we walked the grounds that were cultivated with species that were grown during ancient roman times. The formal gardens of Spain and Italy were a delight to wander through. These famous gardens are my muses as I think about the evolution of my own oasis.

In Seville Spain, my son, daughter in law and I spent the day basking in the formal royal gardens of Alcazar. The orange trees sported fruit the size of cantaloup but apparently are not edible which is a shame.

I can’t say that I am an expert on beaches. Some of the best beaches I have experienced have been in Mexico and Cuba. Epic beach award has to go to the islands of Gili in Indonesia. I loved the fact that you could ride a bicycle all the way around the island of Trawangan. I was a bit disappointed in the snorkelling there. Not much to see and I was told that dynamite had been used to fish in the area. This explains the reason that it seems to be bare in places. There have been numerous projects to promote new reefs and aquatic plant life but it’s sad that it happened in the first place. I was able to snorkel the Great Maya Reef by Puerto Morelos, Mexico. I have never seen so many types of coral, fish and crustaceans. The angel fish spanned a foot of more from fin to fin. There was lobster, sting rays, nurse sharks just to name a few varieties. It was the best show of marine life I have ever seen.

For my next adventure, I want to make sure to include jungle temples and ruins. The images of buddhas being swallowed up by tree roots and vines is on my bucket list to photograph and experience. Nature taking back its real estate has appealed to me.

Where is your next adventure taking you? Do you dream of beaches, botanicals and buddhas as well?

The Mourning Cloak

The Mourning Cloak Butterfly

NYMPHALIS ANTIOPA

One of my favorite things to do during my stay at the ashram was to wander through the forests. 

On one of my adventures I came across an unusual looking butterfly. It had a decent wingspan of about 3 inches dark brown with yellow edges. There were big blue dots lining the outer expanse of the wings.

What stood out for me was the body. I took a photo and then brought the image up on the camera. I am always looking for faces or character images in things. This butterfly didn’t disappoint. It reminded me of a shaman surrounded by a cloak. His head was bent in prayer or sadness. The image is pretty clear on the face and body.

I have done some digital graphics with the photos I took that day and played around with the butterflies artistic potential. I was drawn to its vibe of reserve.

I came across an article on the Mourning Cloak and could understand a bit more why it caught my interest. 

The butterfly, itself, lives longer than most butterflies. It can live up to 12 months, coming out of aestivation in summer and then hibernating again in the winter until early spring. When the weather turns cold it replaces some of the water stored in its body to anti-freeze-like chemicals such as glycols. It then rests under a cavity or tree camouflage until spring.

The name, Mourning Cloak Butterfly, is thought to symbolize someone who wears a cloak of mourning a loved one. The native symbolism believes that the dark colored wings represent death while the white spots on the tips of the wings represent hope and new beginnings. The Mourning Cloak is considered a spiritual creature who can guide you to safety or direct you home if you become lost. As a totem it is believed to teach you about the importance of griefing and recognition of loss.

On further exploration, I came across some information tied to the celtic goddess Brighid. She is the goddess of fire, healing and inspiration. It is believed that Brighid brings new life and hope and is often seen as the Mourning Cloak butterfly. I like that. 

My name, Vanessa, means “a group of butterflies”. I am drawn often to insects as I hike or travel. The amazing designs of nature alway make for a fascinating muse.

“The Campbells are coming”Ne obliviscaris” (Forget Not) 

My grandpa was a Grand Master Mason

There comes a time in your life when you get curious about who you are. Where your ancestors came from and what part of the human gene pool you belong too.

You hope if you are a bit of rebel like me, for intrigue. Colourful characters that you can, perhaps, relate to and blame for your less than stellar traits.

My son has been asking about our family tree. He recalls a project from grade school where he made a tree and listed his lineage. It was pretty easy to do on the maternal side as my dad was a genealogy buff and did tons of research for the LDS church. The paternal side is a bit more challenging as not much has been done to record and share those bits of the puzzle.

On occasion, after my mother in law had a few liquid bouts of courage, she would recall her experiences in Austria during World War II. She had been sent to a farm with her twin sister to work for food and boarding. It was not a time she remembered fondly. Listening to what happened to her mother and father was heartbreaking. It didn’t come to the surface often for her. I was always willing to listen though and comfort as best I could. My father-in-law’s family is from Germany. I don’t know anything about them but hope that my son can chat with his grandfather to get some bits of the story.

My dad has an interesting heritage. His father was born in England and was one of seven children. Their parents were a butler and maid for a wealthy family. The research tells a tale of betrayal. The butler ran away with another maid and left my great grandmother to fend for herself and the children. She did what most women in that circumstance did in those days and dumped the kids on the steps of the famous Barnardo’s orphanage. 

This is where the trail gets murky. The family was scattered across the world. My dad was able to track down all but one of the siblings. My grandfather and his brother landed in Eastern Canada. My grandpa was a character I never met unfortunately. I learned that he had been a Grand Master Free Mason. 

My mom’s side of the family was a bit easier to keep track of. She was a Campbell. My grandpa’s family helped bring the pioneers to Western Canada from the Southern States. Further back there are some skeletons in the closet that depending on whose side you take are memories of victory or complete betrayal in the Scottish highlands. 

The famous cry of the McDonalds “The Campbells are coming” is even a folk song that depicts the betrayal of the opposing Campbell clan. My history connects to the House of Argyll and Robert the Bruce. The layers of betrayal and greed are interspaced with lessons on survival and family preservation at all cost. It would take years and books to untangle those webs.

It’s a big family, according to Google there are hundreds of thousands of Campbells roaming the earth today.

At my grandmother’s funeral, 350 direct descendants spilled out of the church. We used to have an annual family reunion in the mountains. Camp was like a small city full of relatives of every kind. It is a pleasure to be part of such a prolific clan even if there are some sins of the father to atone.

It’s worth knowing how you got here and the recipe within you that helps to enable who you are.

I know I am made up of warriors, gardeners, artists, leaders, followers, thinkers, enemies and friends. It defines my DNA but it doesn’t define how I manage that gene pool within me.

I admit it has some effect on your natural curiosities. I wondered why I loved to immerse my hands in dirt and develop my gardens. In the past my people were stewards of the land. Designing and lovingly taking care of large public and private gardens. Carving out a living in the forests, eating and preserving the wilderness here in Canada and the Highlands of Scotland.

My grandpa Campbell was an artist who made some of his living from selling his paintings while supporting his own thirteen strong clan. I share his love of art and of collecting things. I inherited some of his coin collections and a few of his paintings which I cherish. I spent my childhood roaming the mountains and forests with my grandparents and extended family. It was a childhood of dreams.

Like the clan of the Campbells, I feel most free and spirited in the mountains and most at home living a nomadic existence. 

My son is a data scientist. He has a passion for research and validation of information and data. He took his family tree and is now dissecting it to understand its roots and also try to prove it’s validity. He has suggested some discrepancies in the Argyll threads and has brought forth some interesting theories on a different Campbell line. I am encouraging him to follow his instincts and report back to me.

Perhaps we will learn that our story was different from the present existing version or help to squash any doubt of who we came from.

Either way, I am intrigued to find out. Somethings we don’t need to prove as their are pictures to document the way.

Grandpa Lee

Soulmate vs Lifemate

Soulmates or Lifemates? These two want to know more…

When it comes to choosing a partner to experience  life with, does anyone think of ever after anymore? 

What is a soulmate?

I was curious so I scanned the internet looking for what made sense to me. I wasn’t aware that there are different types: 

Soul Partners– They come in and out of your life to serve a purpose. They may be an intimate partner or something else playing an important role in your growth or certain path. The main purpose is to help to accomplish or complete a goal or milestone (kids, career, goal and so on).

Soul Tie– Unexpected addition that isn’t planned. A connection is made that seems random but ends up being something more. I have met many people in my life who seemed to have a message for me to pay attention to. If I don’t get the message the first time, I notice they come back to try again as themselves or someone similar in manner, behavior or speech. 

Past Life Soulmate– Ever have someone come into your life and you feel an instant attraction or connection to? There is a familiarity with the person that has no known origin. It can be an attraction or just a vibe or energy exchange. It’s tangible though when it happens.

Karma Mates– Sometimes a person comes into your life and changes everything or just enough to get you thinking about a different existence. Universe disruptors I call them. They are put in my path to wake me up and remind me that I need to do something differently or change a behavior or action.

Kindred Spirits-Whether you have a history with someone or have just met them, sometimes, if you are lucky, you have people in your life that just get you. They think like you, they act like you and they are willing to keep you in their lives and vice versa. I have friends like this. We have been friends since childhood for a very long time.

I haven’t exhausted the list of types of relationships one can have. There are many more. I picked out the ones that I was curious to explore further for me and thought you might enjoy the comparison.

At the end of the month will mark 38 years that my husband and I have been married. I think of all the things that have changed in this world over that time. I am not sure I would recognize my 20 years old self that said “I do” and meant for life “I do”.

I have read theories on soulmates. There has been a shift in how they are perceived. Many think you can have multiple soulmates throughout your life. They come to share a part of your story then drift out when the story concludes. They aren’t meant to last forever. If you think about it in the vein of being temporary would you treasure the time spent with them more?

Lifemates I think of differently. If you look at animals, those that mate for life only make up 3% of the population according to Google. Out of that 3%, they quickly find another mate if the first one dies. Another interesting tidbit is the fact that the lifermates don’t live together. They only come together during mating season and the rest of the time they remain apart.

Relationships are such an individual thing. Trying to mirror someone else’s experience is virtually impossible and impractical. Through the years, I have found that you need to decide for you and your partner what will work and what won’t.

In the honeymoon phase it’s easy to see yourself with this perfect soulmate as long as you both shall live. The first twenty years or so are spent building your connected existence. Kids, home, career, lifestyle are all distractions that make time disappear. History is built with this partner that, in my opinion, becomes more valuable than a greater emphasis on lust. Don’t get me wrong, intimacy is important and necessary to sustain a connection. 

I have had many opportunities to watch as couples get married, divorced, pass away, live apart, live together but apart and many combinations that are interesting to contemplate.

I hear single friends and family complain about the state of dating these days. It sounds depressing that humanity puts so much emphasis on how we look on the outside. Since when did it matter if I had hair on my body in places where most people never see?

I am not sure what the future holds for me or my continued journey with my soulmate? Lifemate?

I know one thing for sure, we are meant to have others in our lives. They make life that much richer and full. I am grateful for those who have put up with me over the years and look forward to discovering others yet to be part of my story.

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