Focus your energy on one thing to be more successful at more things.
It’s all great advice and I have taken it to heart during periods of my life that I felt it all applied.
I admire discipline. I have contemplated getting it tattooed on me somewhere I could see it often. I like to be organized and make numerous lists when I need to get things done. I always like periods of chaos and serendipity.
Where I struggle is trying to put myself in a box. I know the benefits of being clear in your communication with others. Even who you are and what you value should be obvious in your musings.
Where is this contemplation coming from?
I was chatting with my son the other day and he was giving me feedback on my blogs. He loves process and is driven by order. He suggested I narrow my scope of topics and use the website to express specific topics.” It’s unorganized” mom, he said. If I want to read about your dream yoga I have to search for it. Label and tag all of your topics to help with the navigation.
It was good advice. I even attempted to sort through the eclectic stories to file them in order of topics, relations and common themes.
Sigh. Ok confession time. I am interested in anything and everything. My interview to volunteer took over an hour because I was curious about many opportunities and didn’t want to turn down any that might be mutually beneficial. I am a realist and know that it isn’t possible to do it all yet I enjoy the push to try and do more. Sometimes less is more. Being willing to narrow the scope and hone in on projects that enhance your skills sets is golden.
So what is the purpose of a label? I have learned that in order to nurture and attract like minds you have to be able to define your ideas in a common language. I bet you thought I was going to dis on labeling things? Not true. I understand the importance of helping others to steer through your body of work to the place that interests them. The exchange of ideas understood and consumed is heady and very desirable.
I am not everyone’s cup of tea nor do I try to be. I do my best though to think of labels many can understand and relate to.
My son’s feedback was good and I continue to take it to heart as I post my blogs. I won’t guarantee him that I will narrow my topics. He knows me better than that but I will ensure they are labeled in the most scientific way.
All I have to do is close my eyes and dream away the snow…
I am getting the itch to travel as winter seems to be dragging on forever. I was dreaming of some of the epic beaches I have been to over the years as I scooped up the snow and piled it into mini mountains along my driveway and walks.
I am grateful for the trips I did take before COVID set it as now I only have to close my eyes and experience the warm humid air of Bali or the wisps of sands grazing my cheeks in the early hours of the morning in Morocco.
Sigh, will I ever travel again? The saving grace, for me, over the last couple of years has been my stays at the ashram. This year is, of course, different. I chose to stay home this time and volunteer locally. It has been good for me to learn more about the state of my own community. How people are coping post pandemic.
I am designing changes to my gardens and have already started many seeds to cut down the costs this year. Gardening, despite what you might think, is not a cheap hobby. At least the way I do it. I close my eyes and think of the Boboli Gardens in Italy. Even though we were there in a severe drought, the more tolerant varieties of shrubs and plants were beautiful. In Pompeii, we walked the grounds that were cultivated with species that were grown during ancient roman times. The formal gardens of Spain and Italy were a delight to wander through. These famous gardens are my muses as I think about the evolution of my own oasis.
In Seville Spain, my son, daughter in law and I spent the day basking in the formal royal gardens of Alcazar. The orange trees sported fruit the size of cantaloup but apparently are not edible which is a shame.
I can’t say that I am an expert on beaches. Some of the best beaches I have experienced have been in Mexico and Cuba. Epic beach award has to go to the islands of Gili in Indonesia. I loved the fact that you could ride a bicycle all the way around the island of Trawangan. I was a bit disappointed in the snorkelling there. Not much to see and I was told that dynamite had been used to fish in the area. This explains the reason that it seems to be bare in places. There have been numerous projects to promote new reefs and aquatic plant life but it’s sad that it happened in the first place. I was able to snorkel the Great Maya Reef by Puerto Morelos, Mexico. I have never seen so many types of coral, fish and crustaceans. The angel fish spanned a foot of more from fin to fin. There was lobster, sting rays, nurse sharks just to name a few varieties. It was the best show of marine life I have ever seen.
For my next adventure, I want to make sure to include jungle temples and ruins. The images of buddhas being swallowed up by tree roots and vines is on my bucket list to photograph and experience. Nature taking back its real estate has appealed to me.
Where is your next adventure taking you? Do you dream of beaches, botanicals and buddhas as well?
One of my favorite things to do during my stay at the ashram was to wander through the forests.
On one of my adventures I came across an unusual looking butterfly. It had a decent wingspan of about 3 inches dark brown with yellow edges. There were big blue dots lining the outer expanse of the wings.
What stood out for me was the body. I took a photo and then brought the image up on the camera. I am always looking for faces or character images in things. This butterfly didn’t disappoint. It reminded me of a shaman surrounded by a cloak. His head was bent in prayer or sadness. The image is pretty clear on the face and body.
I have done some digital graphics with the photos I took that day and played around with the butterflies artistic potential. I was drawn to its vibe of reserve.
I came across an article on the Mourning Cloak and could understand a bit more why it caught my interest.
The butterfly, itself, lives longer than most butterflies. It can live up to 12 months, coming out of aestivation in summer and then hibernating again in the winter until early spring. When the weather turns cold it replaces some of the water stored in its body to anti-freeze-like chemicals such as glycols. It then rests under a cavity or tree camouflage until spring.
The name, Mourning Cloak Butterfly, is thought to symbolize someone who wears a cloak of mourning a loved one. The native symbolism believes that the dark colored wings represent death while the white spots on the tips of the wings represent hope and new beginnings. The Mourning Cloak is considered a spiritual creature who can guide you to safety or direct you home if you become lost. As a totem it is believed to teach you about the importance of griefing and recognition of loss.
On further exploration, I came across some information tied to the celtic goddess Brighid. She is the goddess of fire, healing and inspiration. It is believed that Brighid brings new life and hope and is often seen as the Mourning Cloak butterfly. I like that.
My name, Vanessa, means “a group of butterflies”. I am drawn often to insects as I hike or travel. The amazing designs of nature alway make for a fascinating muse.
I awoke yesterday morning to the doorbell ringing on the side door. I did come out of my coma in enough time to realize that someone was at my door. I sleep with earplugs that work exceptionally well and it takes me a bit of time to come fully awake.
I jumped out of bed, quickly put some clothes on and head to the door only to see a policeman walking away. I catch up with him as he comes around the block again.
The neighbour’s car has been stolen out of their backyard while they left it running to heat up for a few minutes. The police wonder if I noticed anything. I was oblivious unfortunately as I slept soundly.
As the day progresses I have the opportunity to speak with the neighbors and take a walk around my yard. I notice footprints to my front door, carport door, sidegate, garage and shed. There are more footprints by each of the vehicles parked outside our home.
It’s becoming very clear that someone wanted to pay me a visit as I slept. When this was unsuccessful they went to the neighbors house. The neighbors said that a woman came to their house in the early hours of the morning. They tried to gain access through their patio door in the back. The neighbor just happened to be up and asked them what they wanted. Boldly the woman said she had left her backpack in their basement and wanted to retrieve it. He didn’t let her inside. He noticed that she had a cab waiting in the front of his house. A cab? She had taken a cab to his house to try and rob him. The cab took off and left her there. She panicked and took off on foot. The neighbor thought that was the end of it and went back to bed.
Later, that morning, as they were getting ready for work the lady came back. She got in the vehicle that had been left running and attempted to drive away. She backed up into the alley and hit another neighbor’s cement block fence. She was able to drive away but one of the kids from the home got in his car and pursued her. He didn’t find her. After driving around a bit they did eventually find the stolen vehicle and reported its whereabouts to the police.
Why tell you all of this?
I have two more sessions of the Dream Yoga series left to attend. In the practice there is a method you can use that involves working with a “Waking Dream”. A Waking Dream is one that occurs live and in living color. An event that happens while you are fully conscious that you wish to explore for any insights it might have for you.
The first thing I noticed was the fact that I slept through the entire ordeal. The car crashing into the concrete fence happened less than 30 feet from my bedroom window. I heard nothing through my earplugs.
Someone was trying to get into my house throughout the night and morning. They were attempting to access my “safe space” when I was most vulnerable.
In my Dream Yoga session last night, I looked for parallel symbols between my Concrete Dream and the Waking Dream.
In the Concrete Dream, the little girl had told me that I didn’t know the dangers here.
Do you need to know all of the possible dangers in your environment?
When does fear of the unknown become overwhelming?
I have lived at this address for almost 40 years. We have seen many changes to the neighbourhood. My kids grew up here and I felt safe enough in the 1990’s to let them walk to school and play unattended. I never, until recently, felt fearful of hanging in my yard. When outside I am always aware of who is around. This is something I would not have considered twenty years ago. I can stay in my house and worry about who might be lurking around the corner of the garage or I can live my life.
I choose to live my life and use my yoga practices to calm any anxiety that might arise. It helps.
Every night before I go to sleep I repeat the Divine Light Mantra.
I am created by divine light
I am surrounded by divine light
I am protected by divine light
I am sustained by divine light
I am ever growing into divine light
It helps me to go to sleep.
The city of Lethbridge has grown and the population has diversified. There are good things coming to fruition and plenty of bad things going on like any other urban community. The homeless numbers have intensified and they seem to have become bolder. Across the street from my house many have hung out in the past and did drugs right out in the open with little consequence. Phoning the police usually doesn’t amount to anything. You have a drug service come and pick them up but they just come back.
Breaking through the concrete…
Concrete gives you a sense of solid security against danger. In the Concrete Dream, the little girl trusts her carefully crafted cement steps. She doesn’t have to guess where they lead because she already has explored the path many times. It’s a practical existence that is perceived as being safe and secure but with enough force, the mixture can crumble or crack and the sense of safety collapses.
Outside forces want in. They will try as many access points to gain entry as is needed.
What are you going to do about it?
We will beef up our security systems for sure but one thing I refuse to do is live in fear or move away from the home that my husband and I have created here. To sustain a healthy mind and spirit, you have to manage fear. It’s important to be aware of danger to a certain point but letting it control your life can become crippling.
PS
The neighbor said later that day that the lady who stole the car was let go immediately with a notice to appear in court on a certain day. There really wasn’t any consequence to what had happened. That is another discussion that I am not going to embellish here.
Dream Yoga conclusion. A conversation with the little girl
Conclusion to Concrete Dream Series…for now
I enjoy reading fellow bloggers’ thoughts. I came across a sentence that mentioned that doing things out of obligation or guilt can not be sustained. When you act out of love it’s repeatable.
Love is a renewable resource.
I have done many things in my life out of a sense of duty.
How wonderful it is to change the way I think about what I chose to do in service of others.
This week, in the Dream Yoga class (hosted by Yasodhara Ashram), I committed to explore further the people in my Concrete Dream. I decided to zoom in on a conversation I had in the dream with the little white haired girl when I first approached her on the stairwell in the stadium.
“ I ask the little girl if she is lost?”
She replies “you don’t know the dangers here”. She says she can’t trust me.
I am stunned and quick to negate her.
I feel that I missed out on being curious about what she meant by “the dangers” and why she couldn’t trust me. My dream self didn’t give her a chance to explain before rushing in with a response.
There is a practice that I can do that enables me to speak with the child through asking questions and then recording the response through journaling. Since both characters in the dream are representative of my personality traits I can both ask and answer the queries until I come to a point that I feel is conclusive.
I decided to take my van out for a drive, park in the coulees close to my home and lit some incense I had brought back from Bali. Breathing in the aromatic air I quickly sunk into a comfortable space.
Pen in hand with plenty of paper to gather my responses I decided on my first question.
Question:
What dangers are here that I don’t know about?
Response:
If I put myself out there and deviate from the safe and comfortable stairwell I am on I will get stuck again. I will become anxious and want to retreat. I will find myself back in the stairwell moving through life compelled by guilt and a sense of duty. You do your best work when it’s focused on someone else’s needs instead of ours.
Question:
How can I become aware and change my thoughts and behaviors to mitigate getting stuck?
Response:
I am quick to act impulsively. It’s my life that is being affected so what’s the rush?
Question:
Is this impulsive behavior what I meant by not being able to trust?
Response:
Yes, in part. The intuitive better response is there and I do come to understand it eventually. Often though, it’s after I have acted upon something and not before.
Question:
How long do I have to wait?
Response:
Patience is a suit that I could wear more often.
Question:
In the red tube in the dream, I get stuck and retreat. If I led with my heart open would I have made it to the blue seats?
Response:
There are many ways to get to the “blue seats”. They are not the destinations per say but places to rest along the way. Treat them like markers in the journey. When I need a moment to regroup or a reminder to rely on my practices or tools I should think of them.
My questions and responses continue for a while until I am satisfied with a “concrete” understanding of the missed opportunity in my dream conversation with the little girl.
I can imagine her smiling at me. She is feeling heard and understood. I am even beginning to think that she trusts me just a bit more than she did before.
Love is a renewable resource. Loving myself enough to seek out awareness of why I do the things I do, feel the way I feel and say the things I say is a gift of compassion to me.
I hope you have enjoyed this dream series. I find the practices extremely helpful to unlocking the inner guru.
Yesterday afternoon was my first time attending The Circle.
Immigration and family services offer support to people who are “new to Canada” for the first twelve months or so. This time is spent helping them to integrate into the community. I thought it would be an interesting opportunity that could help me understand an immigrant’s journey to a country I often take for granted.
I walked into the room and was greeted by a friendly elderly lady who manages and facilitates the group discussions. We started right in with a craft. Making an outline of our hands which we placed onto a bigger heart. The facilitator encouraged us to write our name, where we were from and something special across the collage. We then strung the hearts on the wall and put little fairy lights interspaced among them. The art is to honor women during International Women’s Day.
I sat next to a lovely woman from Somalia. She has been living in Canada for a year now. As she struggled to tell me in English about herself and her family I had to admire her determination.
I have traveled to numerous countries and know what it’s like not to have a decent grasp of the language. Along with all the other challenges one must face when fleeing their country, just responding to simple questions about yourself can add another layer of burden.
I like the idea of a place you can go to practice your English in a safe and non-judgmental setting.
I smiled at my new friend and helped her to cut out her traced hand and heart. We even used some glitter glue to create fingernails. Being open and inviting with a smile and soft gaze I could see put her at ease while we tried to figure out what each other was saying. I could see the understanding come. It’s so random the things you connect on. Explaining how to say “fingernails” was the ice breaker. Then connect fingernail to thumb, index finger, middle finger…we laughed at that one, ring finger-great discussion on what that entailed and baby finger or pinky-which got another smile. I am not sure she understood all of the names but the conversation was flowing.
In the larger group the discussion was on the use of the local library. One of the immigrant ladies had mentioned that she got help setting up her social media account there from one of the volunteers. I was happy to hear that as my next week’s interview is with the adult learning group which is hosted at the library. The group seemed very interested in learning about how to use their social media accounts which is not surprising. I asked their favorite one and Instagram seemed to be the winner.
Finding small things to connect on is so important. It joins us in common interest and opens a window for more in depth understanding and discussion. Simple things like making an appointment or taking a bus are on the list for future discussions.
I started volunteering at a local food bank a couple times a week. I chose to work in the front area where the hampers and other food related items are handed out.
I was curious as to who are the clientele for these organizations and what is involved to qualify for the support?
According to statistics, 1 in 7 people in Canada are food insecure. Out of that number 33% are children. On average there are 1.4 million visits to a local food bank in Canada every month.
As I toured the local food bank I was told that they supply lunch programs for children to most of the schools in the city now. On the day I visited they made 1500 sandwiches to bring distributes to elementary schools.
We all know that our dollar isn’t going as far these days. Whether you rent or own a home, once you get done paying all the bills and expenses not much is left over. It can be intimidating to go into a grocery store these days with the hopes of finding affordable food that is nutritious but doesn’t break your bank account.
Since when does lettuce cost $7.00 a head? It wasn’t long ago when you could buy a dozen eggs for less than a buck. Now you are lucky to find them for under $5.00.
As I stocked the shelves with donated items I was curious as to what people would choose as their two items from the dry/canned goods and condiment areas. They have a choice of one sweet or salty snack as well. The most popular is the bags of chips or if available, packages of big Costco muffins. I understand the concept of making it last.
I loaded a shelf with big containers of vinegar and thought that no one would want such a big bottle. I was wrong. As soon as the doors were opened the 8 bottles were gone. The more I think about it the more sense it makes. There is lots you can do with vinegar. You can clean with it, as a hair conditioner or use it in dressings and flavoring.
The foodbank I volunteer for has a big homeless population. I was surprised to see that it had all sorts of ethnic backgrounds. There was no one group that was over represented.
A Lot of people are very skinny and you have to feel for them. I admire how tough they are too. I noticed their hands. I have experienced frostbite and it isn’t pleasant. It can be quite painful. Long term exposure can cause permanent damage. I wish I had a box of mittens to hand out along with the muffins. The more practical side of me knows that they would probably just get abandoned somewhere or not used.
Humans are adaptable to their environments. As I get to know this curious group I am fascinated by their inventiveness.
What do you do with a jello package when you live on the streets? I asked someone the other day? I was informed you can put it in a bottle of water and make jello or just drink it. The same goes for cake mixes. You can add water and if you have access to a microwave you can cook it.
Buns are selected over sliced bread. White bread is chosen more than brown. Honey is available quite often and leads to the obvious question…”Do you have any peanut butter?”
I sigh as I am a big fan of peanut butter and honey. When peanut butter is available it goes in the hampers and is not usually available for people of no fixed address. I am tempted to go buy a few boxes of small jars of it to put under the counter and bring out when someone asks. The challenge is that once expectations are there it becomes hard to go back. The foodbank adheres to strict rules. They have to. Some days the food is plentiful and the selections are vast. Other days there isn’t enough to fill the shelves up completely so rationing is needed to make it last.
I have never known what it is like to go hungry and I don’t wish that feeling on anyone.
I look into the faces of the little kids that come in with their parents. I hug them in the light in my heart.
We have become a society of haves and have nots more than ever before seen. The gaps seem to be getting larger.
If you see that bin in the grocery store marked for the foodbank and you can afford a few dollars to donate I would encourage you to do it.
I have a new understanding of what it takes to feed a community and feel grateful for my lifestyle and new appreciation for peanut butter.
I agree with Sharon, it’s time to try a few new things. Spring is right around the corner which always makes me think of new growth.
When I bought my campervan I had a vision of doing most of the work myself. Then I got the van home. Parked it at my moms house and started to hear the opinions of what I should do with it. My husband thought I should drive it off a cliff, some thought I should keep it simple. Slap a coat of paint on the inside and call it a day.Others, me included, thought a complete gut job was the only thing to do.
I am in year 3 with the van. The timing of trying to do a major renovation could not have been worse. High lumber prices, gas prices, shortage of parts and knowing how to work through the issues that a 1978 year old beast has gathered along its journey.
I sat in the driver’s seat the other day and looked around inside. I now have it parked outside my home.
You know when you have a vision of what something should look like? It’s close now inside except for a few areas that I settled for the time being just to get driving it.
I realized that there are parts of the operation of the van that I don’t know how to operate because I let others do the work and really didn’t understand how it functioned.
I am ready to try new things which include a thorough understanding of how to manage the inner workings of this house of wheels.
If I could, I know I would spend all my time working on it. I have something to prove to myself. All the years listening to the men in my life tell me that I should leave the mechanics, the woodworking and building things to them. I have had many things “mansplain” to me. I do value the advice, I am not an idiot….lol.
How do you get better at anything if you don’t try? There has to be an acceptance that not everything will turn out perfect. I am married to a guy who looks for imperfections for a living. Sometimes I accept his feedback and let him fix my less than top quality attempts.
What I have noticed lately though, is that as we get older he is getting likely to comment on something I know is just a little crooked.
I have decided to make 3 boxes with cushions on top. They will act as a sitting area in the van. If I can get them to look decent I will try more. Being me, they need to have decorative trim.
Here’s to trying new things and learning that the only thing in your way is you. So move aside “you” I am armed with glue, a saw and an assortment of trim and tools.
Dream Yoga as a practice to understand your higher self.
Concrete Dream #4 Blog
If you have followed me along on my interpretation of a dream I had while at residence at Yasodhara Ashram, thank you for having interest in this journey. I have had some very meaningful dream sequences in the ashram setting. I attribute the depth of the details in the dream visions to my ability to be open to receiving wisdom. It’s easy to do while staying in the community as it seems like the universe is eager to impart any knowledge it can when I am in a receptive mood to unpack it.
In this week’s dream yoga session, I explored further into the symbolism behind the “red tunnel”. My intuition is leading me to think that I should pay attention to following my heart. I have learned about myself that I tend to retreat to safe ground when I get stuck. I have so many unfinished journeys that I have started in my life.
What’s stopping me from moving forward?
I have been thinking about blood flow. In the red tunnel that I find myself and the little girl in the dream, there is blockage. I meditated within the tunnel and as I did rocks and debris fell around me. The sides of the tunnel are coated with “Plaque”. It felt like I was building a layer of calcium to make the passage almost impassable. Why am I making my journey harder? What am I still resisting? I sit longer in the tunnel, practicing patience. There appears to be a golden glow coming through in cracks. I am thinking about divine light and what it means to me. I breathe in 4 times slowly and steadily. Hold my breath for 4 counts then release the breath for 4 counts. As I release the breath I chant “Absorb the light”.
I know I have within me all the tools I require to make my way through this tunnel and lead the little white haired girl to the blue chairs.
I imagine that I have a rock pick in my hand. The rock pick symbolizes discipline and persistence needed to chip away at the build up around my heart. The build up that surrounds my ability to trust myself and others. I can open my heart. I am confident I know how.
Again I breathe in the light, hold the breath to intensify the light’s ability to break down my barriers. Push out slowly and like a magnetic hold onto the light’s soothing balm. Allowing it to be absorbed into my heart and my soul.
OM NAMAH SIVAYA is a sanskrit mantra that roughly translates as an appeal to destroy all ignorance and illusion that stands in our way. A plea to remove obstacles to obtain greater clarity of our higher purpose. Sometimes obstacles are things in which we are very attached to. They can be habits, things, people, values or ideals. Asking to rid oneself of these things we have held as valuable is not an easy path to follow. You chant the mantra to ask for them to be destroyed. Trusting that you are making way for something more akin to your higher self.
This week, I plan to chant the above mantra to help focus on the destruction needed within the red tube.
To add further assistance I have drawn on my Mudra cards. These are oracle type cards that have instructions on how to arrange your hands in certain gestures and pressure points. They relate to the chakras. I have chosen a gesture to practice on increasing my ability to trust. It’s called the Chinmaya Mudra.
The variety of yoga practice available is astounding. Once I started to explore options, I realized that I had only to focus on what made sense for me and most importantly start doing it on a regular basis. Nothing was built that lasted in a day. It takes time, effort, discipline and focus to clean up the pile of rubble I created within my internal pathways.
