Tag: #mindset

Orbiting Retirement

Change of Mind-graphic(created by vknecht)

I am a little bit older than Sharon. She just turned 55 and I will be turning 58 this year. One of the reasons our partnership works well, in my humble opinion, is that our lives are similar and yet very different. You get two perspectives for the price of one.

I was surprised to see though that our younger selves had very close dreams of how we would retire. A hut on the beach was ideal in my naive teenage brain. Doing something creative and being able to supplement retirement income would be a bonus. 

I always thought I would do something with art or music. I never considered banking or corporate life as a permanent thing. It lasted almost 40 years and became my priority. It also funded my ability to explore spirituality, art and music at leisure which kept my soul fed. 

Now, I find myself having a desire to explore the potential and benefit of reconfiguring retirement. A liberation to shed a traditional path most of us feel compelled to follow.

What if there was another path to a sense of freedom you never knew existed?

Simplifying life, opens your mind to new possibilities. I ask myself what parts of my life hold me prisoner? Can I let them go in order to find a new orbit?

Fear is an interesting four letter word. It can seem to have a bigger hold when looking at the unknown future. Knowledge of gained experiences helps me to dispel fear. The more things I try the less control fear keeps me chained down. 

Can you create a new world within your mind of what retirement should look like for you?

I have been working through the Kundalini system. The 7 Cakra’s to liberation. In the space of the 6th Cakra there is a new definition of mind that functions within two realities. The manifested and the unmanifested. 

As I get older I have the gift of experiences to help guide my decisions. The knowledge of how actions I make impact my intuition to alter my choices and the truth that remains once the journey is completed. The more aware I become of my ability to control my intended orbit, the easier it gets to become insightful and intentional with my directions. To plot a path and trajectory that will land me in the spot I desire is first imagined in my mind. 

What if I was able to maintain a “skylike mind”? A mind that welcomed new experiences that bubbled up from unmanifested parts of me. Those parts had been stored for later and are now showing themselves to be key tools for my current journey.

I am building a new world in which to accommodate a new version of me. The material is drawn from a well of known experiences instead of a well of intellectual conditioning. There is power and energy I can intuitively draw on that knows how to balance the flow. 

If all of my experiences are a creation of my mind then what do I have to fear?

My desire to be liberated puts me on a path towards a freedom I never knew existed.

What’s The Rush?

Our inner garden needs weeding and refinement as much as our outter one.

The balance between action and refinement

I have been enjoying reading and contemplating the Kundalini philosophy and practices. I strongly believe there is a lot I can learn from action and refinement in this area. The more I explore the more it becomes apparent that action without refinement is something I have mastered. I have always been a “jump in and get started” kind of personality. I believed I could pivot and adjust as I went but it was important to get going before I got side tracked doing something else or lost my motivation to continue down a path. It has served me pretty good in the past with work getting done and the quality being “ok”.

Now? I find myself wanting more quality over quantity. 

I have spent years building my external gardens. My yard is bursting with a variety of plant life and areas of interest. I push the growing season by planting early and extending out harvest as much as the weather will permit. This year was no different and yet it was. In the past, I would have taken the chance that it may or may not snow in my zone at the end of May. Zone 6 is notorious for being unpredictable or predictable in doing the opposite of what you expect. The weather over the past few weeks has been wonderful with highs in the mid twenties even as high as twenty-seven(80 degrees for us old timers) for a few days. Then a hint of cold weather appeared on the horizon and as is common the white stuff appeared out of nowhere. 

So why did I plant early and take the chance that everything might freezeTake the chance that I may have to start over later? I think it’s about taking calculated risks and refining goals as you go. For instance, through the years I have come to understand which plants are more likely to survive a snow fall late in the season and which aren’t. I have researched how to compensate for the low temps by covering plants and providing protection for those vulnerable. I have begun to filter my desire to have a longer growing season with a realistic expectation of what that might entail.

So what’s the rush? This exploration of balance and refinement relates to my desire for making the most of our short growing season (seems Southern Alberta’s growing season is getting shorter and shorter) and finding ways to expand what is possible to accomplish in the time given.

Can we transfer this exploration to our lives? The crystal ball that magically tells us how life will go is flawed. Most often, it doesn’t account for what happens when we are on autopilot. I find myself daily having to reset and find renewed motivation to get projects done or surrender to the knowledge that some things weren’t meant to be. I am working with a mind that has a desire to time travel through the past and leap into the future at any given moment, it takes discipline and resilience to keep it in check. To function from my centre while not giving into the flood of narratives that escape with a variety of emotion is a constant battle of will and surrender of control to a higher power. The garden that dwells within me is still being refined. The habitual paths(patterns) are well worn and maybe too comfortable to keep accessible. As I try to trench out new and healthier routes I become aware that rushing is not the answer. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to start and continue to chip away at obstacles that constantly show up to distract us from our goals and purpose. What I am learning though, is refinement and checking in often with my inner guru helps me make sure I am awake and aware . It helps me to find a pace to live my life that keeps me healthy and whole while focused on what’s important for me to see to fruition at any given moment.

Namaste

Doesn’t “Calm” Come First?

I haven’t been very active in this blog for the past couple of months. My life has taken some unexpected, sudden turns and I feel like I’ve missed the “calm” and have landed firmly into the “storm”.

Some of the storm is physical – my dad moving into long-term care, my roommate deciding to buy me out of our home, finding a new home, getting ready to move, and work projects coming fast and furious.

Some of it is emotional – feeling as though I’ve let Dad down (even though he’s the one who asked to move), angry at my roommate (soon to be ex-husband), frustrated from dealing with him, excited about my new place, sad that my CrossFit gym is permanently closing (thank you Covid), and happy with how things are going in my current relationship.

Some of it is mental – I find myself paralyzed by indecision. I’ve never had the opportunity to purchase and set up a home just for *me*. What do I like? How do I want to set it up? What works for *me*?

I alternate between feeling as though I have everything in order and, like today, feeling as though everything is out of control. It’s uncomfortable.

I try to get comfortable through “to do” lists. I love the sense of completion I get when I can cross something off the list. Thing is, the closer I get to the closing date, the longer the “to do” list seems to grow. It feels like a hurricane increasing strength as it moves towards land.

Will the storm’s strength decrease before it reaches land, or will it hit land and wreak havoc?

I need to stay on top of my self-talk and reflect on what I’m feeling.

Yes, I feel overwhelmed. I need to focus on what needs to be done *right now* and not think too far into the future. What do I need to get done today?…tomorrow?

I need to focus on creating a new home and filling it with things that sustain my physical, emotional, and mental well-being and rather than dwelling on what I’m leaving behind.

I need to remember that – yes – as I pack and realize I have a lot of “stuff”, I don’t have to unpack it all in one day. It’ll be OK to move things and decide it doesn’t serve me anymore. Reduce, reuse, and recycle – I can do that anywhere.

I can peruse Pinterest to get ideas for setting up my new home. Or, I can set up the rooms next week and feel free to change my mind as I live in the space.

I may not have experienced a calm before the storm, but I feel there’s a tremendous calm waiting for me after it.

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