It’s In the Cards

After a year of changes, I am facing the possibility of another one. I’ve written out the pros/cons list, I’ve talked it over with friends, and I’m 99% sure I know which direction I’ll take. For interest’s sake, I wanted to see what my cards had to say. I pulled three cards for past, present, and future.

I found it interesting to see the Butterfly card representing my past, but it makes sense. I’ve been through a great deal of change and transformation. It’s no longer telling me about my present or future because – I’m hoping – most of the change has happened.

Now, the Horse card – that’s a new one. What does it tell me about my present?

The Horse represents the most masterful form of Earth energy within the deck. It provides us with momentum so reliable, so supportive that you can ride its back toward any goal, no matter how difficult the terrain. A Horse personality is fully awakened, fully alive, and cannot be defeated. The Horse’s freedom becomes available to us when we hone and collect our energy through daily practice. Physical stamina (exercise) and mental focus (meditation) are the secret weapons behind the Horse’s legacy.

Again – interesting. In my last blog, I mentioned I was seeing a psychologist and had started working through The Artist’s Way. The psychologist is helping me put my past into perspective and “rewire” my thinking. Writing three pages every morning is a form of meditation, and a month ago, I started back at the gym. I definitely feel as though I’m on a new wave of momentum and not as “stuck” as I’ve felt the last several months. I’m feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically stronger than I have in a long time.

I was confused as to what a Bat means for my future. The question I asked before pulling these cards was, “Am I making the right decision?” Let’s see what this card states.

The Bat is the master of the subtle senses, of the underlying forces that cause some things to prosper and other things to fade. The Bat card shows up to signify the ending of a chapter, the closing of a door. The Bat comes swiftly, encouraging us to move on.

Am I making the right decision? I’d say yes. The EMDR work I’m doing with the psychologist is all about accessing subconscious core beliefs and confronting them. I’m learning what these beliefs are and how they have played a role in my life. The subconscious is becoming conscious and freeing me. In many ways, I’m ending a chapter (perhaps, several chapters from a variety of books representing different parts of my life) and I’m ready to move on.

I *am* ready to move on. I’m done with questioning why I was let go from my previous job, why my husband couldn’t be honest with me, why life was changing for me again. It was something I needed to work through to learn the lessons.

Now, it’s time to – literally – put the past behind me, take the lessons, and start embracing the next chapter; I feel as though it’s already started to write itself.

Synchronicity, cont…

After writing last night, I started to think about the events occurring for me right now, and how they may or may not be related. Whenever matters of the Universe seem to be at play, I feel called to my oracle cards.

I pulled another card. It was the butterfly. Today, I wanted to see if the message was reinforced, and pulled the lion.

The butterfly represents undergoing great change and transformation.

“The energy of the butterfly is with us during periods of transition. Since air is the element of the heart, this change usually involves relationships (or if you love your job, perhaps your career).”

Last week, the term “synchronicity” showed up twice. I also had a company approach me about working for them. I’m having to decide if I want the security of where I am now, or take a leap of faith and start somewhere new. It’s a very attractive offer, and in many ways, is what I’ve defined as my “dream job”. (I checked with Martin, and he assured me the relationship is good for him, so I don’t think it’s dealing with matters of the heart).

I wanted to see what the cards had to say today. Lion appeared.

“The Lion is a master of the Fire element and the living mascot of self-transformation. A Lion personality dedicates their life to personal and spiritual growth.”

Is anyone else sensing a theme? Again with transformation. It appears during the time I’ve been seeing a psychologist and working through “The Artist’s Way” to unblock my creativity.

OK – let’s see what the other decks have to say. I pulled Tsunami from the Magic Earth deck.

“You are getting a wake up call. It may be in the form of a significant loss, or other dramatic event in your life, typically one that you were not prepared for initially. You may feel stunned at first, surprised by the unexpected events that are occurring.”

Ummmm…yes. I was not expecting a casual conversation to turn into, “What would it take to get you to come work for us?” This card also seems to summarize the last year of turmoil – separation, finding out spouse is gay, moving out, buying a new home, rehoming my dog. Now, it feels as though the wake-up call is – “What are you going to do with your life? It’s yours for the taking!” This job offer, on many levels, seems too good to be true. Is it the wake-up call I need to start a new life now that I’m more settled?

Now, my curiosity is piqued. I have another deck – the Nature’s Whispers cards. Two were stuck together.

The Big Picture card: “There is so much more going on than you realize…If you’ve been struggling with a problem or tough situation, this card can signal that you will find the answers if you stand back and view everything from a larger perspective or someone else’s viewpoint.”

The Amplify Your Positive Emotions card: “There is a ripple effect of energy flowing from you. Be positive…There is a chance to bring good fortune and influences to all of the events in your life. As circles also represent cycles, know that you are continually going in and out of cycles, growing and changing. With every ending comes a new beginning.”

Oh, I know there is more going on than I realize! I haven’t slept well all week, since starting the “morning pages” from “The Artist’s Way”. I suspect there is much ‘bubbling under the surface’ that has yet to show itself. I’m talking to the psychologist, to Martin, and to friends to get their perspective on what’s going on in my life. I’m also fully aware that with every ending comes a new beginning: marriage ended – new home and relationship. Now, maybe a new job? I started my current job while still living in the same house as my ex. Is the presentation of a new job a result of the Universe giving me a truly “clean slate” from which to build my life?

What are the odds of five cards sending the same message, at a time when synchronicity has made itself known? There was a time I’d have puzzled over this – over thought it. Now, I’m going to accept it. I know I’m still in a period of transformation, this time more internal than external. It’s part of the healing process and coming to terms with the direction life is taking me. I simply need to trust the Universe has my best interests at heart.

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