After a year of changes, I am facing the possibility of another one. I’ve written out the pros/cons list, I’ve talked it over with friends, and I’m 99% sure I know which direction I’ll take. For interest’s sake, I wanted to see what my cards had to say. I pulled three cards for past, present, and future.
I found it interesting to see the Butterfly card representing my past, but it makes sense. I’ve been through a great deal of change and transformation. It’s no longer telling me about my present or future because – I’m hoping – most of the change has happened.
Now, the Horse card – that’s a new one. What does it tell me about my present?
The Horse represents the most masterful form of Earth energy within the deck. It provides us with momentum so reliable, so supportive that you can ride its back toward any goal, no matter how difficult the terrain. A Horse personality is fully awakened, fully alive, and cannot be defeated. The Horse’s freedom becomes available to us when we hone and collect our energy through daily practice. Physical stamina (exercise) and mental focus (meditation) are the secret weapons behind the Horse’s legacy.
Again – interesting. In my last blog, I mentioned I was seeing a psychologist and had started working through The Artist’s Way. The psychologist is helping me put my past into perspective and “rewire” my thinking. Writing three pages every morning is a form of meditation, and a month ago, I started back at the gym. I definitely feel as though I’m on a new wave of momentum and not as “stuck” as I’ve felt the last several months. I’m feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically stronger than I have in a long time.
I was confused as to what a Bat means for my future. The question I asked before pulling these cards was, “Am I making the right decision?” Let’s see what this card states.
The Bat is the master of the subtle senses, of the underlying forces that cause some things to prosper and other things to fade. The Bat card shows up to signify the ending of a chapter, the closing of a door. The Bat comes swiftly, encouraging us to move on.
Am I making the right decision? I’d say yes. The EMDR work I’m doing with the psychologist is all about accessing subconscious core beliefs and confronting them. I’m learning what these beliefs are and how they have played a role in my life. The subconscious is becoming conscious and freeing me. In many ways, I’m ending a chapter (perhaps, several chapters from a variety of books representing different parts of my life) and I’m ready to move on.
I *am* ready to move on. I’m done with questioning why I was let go from my previous job, why my husband couldn’t be honest with me, why life was changing for me again. It was something I needed to work through to learn the lessons.
Now, it’s time to – literally – put the past behind me, take the lessons, and start embracing the next chapter; I feel as though it’s already started to write itself.