Dream Yoga has begun. The little white haired girl braves the stairwell to her core beliefs. Ready & willing to challenge their truths. Let go of the self talk that keeps her anchored in concrete.
I stand in the stairwell of a stadium when I notice a little girl. She seems upset. I approached her. She is blonde, maybe 4-5 years old. She is wearing a little white dress that comes to the knees. She has white socks on. The stairwell is concrete and stark grey. It seems to be placed to the left and is wide enough for us to walk side by side. I ask the girl if she is lost. She replies that I don’t know the dangers here. She says she can’t trust me. I am stunned and quick to negate her. I reply that I am an adult and can help her as well as help myself. She looks at me and gives me the feeling that she doesn’t believe me. She turns away from me and starts walking up the stairs. I hear her snivel and follow her. We continue up the stairs until we come to what looks like a water slide tube. I suggest we take the tube as it will lead us into the stadium faster. She agrees reluctantly. We get stuck in the tube and end up reversing back to the stairwell. She doesn’t seem upset as if she expected me not to be able to navigate the tube. She gets out and starts walking down the stairs this time. We come to a widening area and can look out to the stage of the stadium. It’s empty and there doesn’t seem to be anyone around yet I feel like there are others present. We go back to the stairs and I follow her as she makes her way upward again. I wonder where her parents are and why they haven’t appeared yet. I feel like we have been in every possible position in the stairwell but haven’t seen anyone. We keep walking up and down without any more interaction. I wake up from the dream.
I am reading a second book by Robin Wall Kimmerer titled “Braiding Sweetgrass”.
The first book I read of hers was “The Gathering Moss” and thoroughly enjoyed it.
A few pages into “Braiding Sweetgrass” Robin dedicates a chapter to what she calls the “epiphany of beans” and then moves onto a chapter called “The Three Sisters”. The chapter talks about compatible planting of, in this case, vegetables that are complementary to each other. Specifically, corn, beans and squash are the ones she mentions. Nature has an amazing ability for reciprocity and finding balance with sustainable relationships. The partnership here starts with the corn. They grow tall and thin with shallow root systems. The beanstalks wrap around the corn for support and take advantage of spreading upward with the cornstalks. The corn seem to accept the hitchhikers and separate their leaves to make room for the bean vines. The Indigenous theory on the “Three Sisters” states that when planted together these plants can feed the people, feed the land and feed our imaginations by telling us how we can live together.
She goes on to talk about the theory that starts with the planting of the corn which shoots up vertically as fast as it can soaking up water and producing sugars. The bean comes next but takes a different root by firmly planting itself with deep roots before it seeks to go upward. The squash comes later and is last to germinate.The birth order is critical to the successful relationship of the trio. I recommend the read as it’s utterly fascinating to learn about this type of gardening techniques. The method is as old as time and yet not commonly practiced or known.
Further she talks about the intimate relationship between the sisters and how they embrace and support each other in order for the greater good. Without the support of the corn, the bean would be unruly on the ground and at risk by predators. The squash provides shade and reduction of weeds while enjoying the corn provides spots of sunshine strategically placed back on the squash. The corn roots are fine and fibrous and make a shallow network where they drink their fill of water. They provide a channel for the excess water to flow downward to the roots of the beans. The squash taps into the excess and there seems to be enough for them all to thrive better together than apart.
Plants are amazing. Beans grow oxygen-free nodules to house bacterium that shares nitrogen with the plant. This nitrogen enters the soil and helps to fuel added growth to the corn and squash. It has been proven that these plants do better together than grown separately. I am sure there are more examples of these combination growth methods to explore.
I find myself wondering about this phonenom. I come from a family of six girls and one boy. There are three girls, a boy and then three more girls. I am second to the last in the grouping. We seemed to rotate our friendships as we grew. I would hang out with my sister who was two years older than me the most. If I was to label us as plants I wouldn’t say we fit neatly into the “Three Sisters”. What I noticed is that as we get older the message from the sisters rings true.
When it comes to choosing a partner to experience life with, does anyone think of ever after anymore?
What is a soulmate?
I was curious so I scanned the internet looking for what made sense to me. I wasn’t aware that there are different types:
Soul Partners–They come in and out of your life to serve a purpose. They may be an intimate partner or something else playing an important role in your growth or certain path. The main purpose is to help to accomplish or complete a goal or milestone (kids, career, goal and so on).
Soul Tie– Unexpected addition that isn’t planned. A connection is made that seems random but ends up being something more. I have met many people in my life who seemed to have a message for me to pay attention to. If I don’t get the message the first time, I notice they come back to try again as themselves or someone similar in manner, behavior or speech.
Past Life Soulmate– Ever have someone come into your life and you feel an instant attraction or connection to? There is a familiarity with the person that has no known origin. It can be an attraction or just a vibe or energy exchange. It’s tangible though when it happens.
Karma Mates– Sometimes a person comes into your life and changes everything or just enough to get you thinking about a different existence. Universe disruptors I call them. They are put in my path to wake me up and remind me that I need to do something differently or change a behavior or action.
Kindred Spirits-Whether you have a history with someone or have just met them, sometimes, if you are lucky, you have people in your life that just get you. They think like you, they act like you and they are willing to keep you in their lives and vice versa. I have friends like this. We have been friends since childhood for a very long time.
I haven’t exhausted the list of types of relationships one can have. There are many more. I picked out the ones that I was curious to explore further for me and thought you might enjoy the comparison.
At the end of the month will mark 38 years that my husband and I have been married. I think of all the things that have changed in this world over that time. I am not sure I would recognize my 20 years old self that said “I do” and meant for life “I do”.
I have read theories on soulmates. There has been a shift in how they are perceived. Many think you can have multiple soulmates throughout your life. They come to share a part of your story then drift out when the story concludes. They aren’t meant to last forever. If you think about it in the vein of being temporary would you treasure the time spent with them more?
Lifemates I think of differently. If you look at animals, those that mate for life only make up 3% of the population according to Google. Out of that 3%, they quickly find another mate if the first one dies. Another interesting tidbit is the fact that the lifermates don’t live together. They only come together during mating season and the rest of the time they remain apart.
Relationships are such an individual thing. Trying to mirror someone else’s experience is virtually impossible and impractical. Through the years, I have found that you need to decide for you and your partner what will work and what won’t.
In the honeymoon phase it’s easy to see yourself with this perfect soulmate as long as you both shall live. The first twenty years or so are spent building your connected existence. Kids, home, career, lifestyle are all distractions that make time disappear. History is built with this partner that, in my opinion, becomes more valuable than a greater emphasis on lust. Don’t get me wrong, intimacy is important and necessary to sustain a connection.
I have had many opportunities to watch as couples get married, divorced, pass away, live apart, live together but apart and many combinations that are interesting to contemplate.
I hear single friends and family complain about the state of dating these days. It sounds depressing that humanity puts so much emphasis on how we look on the outside. Since when did it matter if I had hair on my body in places where most people never see?
I am not sure what the future holds for me or my continued journey with my soulmate? Lifemate?
I know one thing for sure, we are meant to have others in our lives. They make life that much richer and full. I am grateful for those who have put up with me over the years and look forward to discovering others yet to be part of my story.