The Elephant In The Room

I have an affinity for elephants. I always thought they were kindred spirits of mine. I am taking a Kundalini class and tonight we explored the tools and symbolism of the First Cakra.

Some of the questions asked are “What is the foundation I stand on and what needs to be updated within that foundation?”

I was sure my foundation is based on well fitted and firmly placed footings. As I learn and explore the world I created for myself I feel that I am in a pretty good place. 

What I didn’t suspect was the fissures running through the support structure.

Is my foundation built on decisions made out of a sense of fear? Fear of not belonging, fear of not measuring up, fear of financial hardships, fear of becoming my parents?

I know I have to consider fear when making life decisions. How can you not? It’s alway present and causes a bit of anxiety for us all. Has it interfered with my path? I would be lying if I said it hasn’t at all.

What tools in the First Cakra can help with fear? The Child Brahma makes the gesture that all fear will be dispelled. I have to set the intent with sincerity and humility. I can practice that. I gaze upon the goddess Satki Dakini. She holds a spear in one of her hands. What animals dwell within me that need spearing? Do I operate with instinct or awareness? The mastering of hitting the target comes with practice and skill development. The basics are here to renovate my foundational core. I can use the staff to help me clear my cluttered mind. Fear lingers in the monkey chatter and tends to obscure my ability to see things through an unfettered perspective. What is true and what is false? What is still distracting me from my purpose and the goals I have set out for myself?

How do I move out from a platform of fear?

I must start where I am instead of where I think I should be. I am encouraged to move slowly with purpose and discrimination. This reminds me of the purpose of silent retreats. When you remove a sense the others are heightened. In this case, not all sound is removed but a significant portion of physical chatter. The art is in quieting the inner chatter while dismissing the need for outer voice.

I glance once again at the First Cakra. The Elephant of Indra draws attention and I smile at the instant analogy of “The elephant in the room”. What does my elephant look like? I do feel clumsy sometimes when I try to meditate or do some of the yoga poses. I wasn’t born very graceful I am afraid. Yet, that isn’t really the purpose of the poses. It’s the connection to the mind and body that counts. Do my preconceived ideas about how I am supposed to look while doing yoga hinder my progress? I would have to answer that sometimes it does. I have proven to myself that I am strong and able to overcome many challenges in life. Like the elephant though, I am stubborn and sometimes hold onto hurts that hinder my ability to heal completely. My words sometimes are clumsy lacking the clarity of intent. I have worked on getting better at choosing my words if they are needed at all and when the right time appears to share them with others. Saving your words and choosing to listen with silence, even in the mind, is truly a remarkable skill to fine tune.

Once in a while, in meditation, I reach a level of complete silence. It is a blissful moment when all noise is gone and the cosmic voice can be heard. The vibration generated is like Prana.